On my birthday, I am feeling delightfully settled. I am indeed another year older, wiser, and happier. Happiness and contentment and joy expand. They are limitless. The only ceiling to our good feelings is one we create. Just when you think life can’t get any better, it can. Let that ceiling keep going higher and higher.
We each have our own barometer as to what feels good. Right now I am giddy that I have lovely space to create, space for people to feel comfortable here, space to enjoy nature’s beauty. Sitting on the deck and looking at the trees and sky is heaven for me.
Maybe as we get older, we get easier to please. Yet I know that is not true. Some folks have made up their minds to never be completely happy. And some do not believe it is possible. For me, I now realize it is the simple things that fill my soul AND I am still very particular. It is good to be particular. Women (and men) of a certain age are more certain about what we want.
Clarity and certainty are gifts of aging. We don’t settle for anything less than what makes our heart sing. The word settle is often misunderstood. Think of “settle” as “agree.” We think if we “settle” then we are settling for less. Not true. I will not AGREE for less than what I want.
Feeling UNSETTLED tells us to keep looking, be it for a house, a mate, a job, whatever. If we settle, that is a good thing. Settle is a verb that means to fix or resolve conclusively, to clarify, to make quiet or orderly. Now doesn’t that feel lovely?
To feel resolved is very satisfying. So when you hear the words “Don’t settle,” translate it to “Don’t agree if you feel Unsettled.” When you feel settled, then it is good and right and resolved, and FEELS GOOD. Settle in to your lovely life. When you feel unsettled, then it is time to make a tweak or a great big change.
I get that now – because I am older, wiser, and happier. When I divorced, one of my theme songs was from Sugarland, “I Ain’t Settling.” The main line: I ain’t settling for just getting by, I ain’t settling for anything less than everything.
We don’t agree to just get by. We don’t agree to accept what we don’t want. But we do settle. We want to feel settled. Think of your stomach. When it does not feel settled, you do something to calm it. If life does not feel settled, we do something to resolve that unsettled feeling.
My advice to us all: SETTLE.
Imagine overnight guests coming to your home. You show them to their room and tell them to settle in. You want them to feel comfortable and at ease and relaxed. The word settle is about feeling happy and confident.
Some synonyms to help this sink in. Settle: come to a decision, agreement, conclusion; make certain; put in order; nail down; clear up; satisfy; confirm; work out; choose; achieve; complete; establish; call the shots.
Call the shots! Yes! You get to call the shots in your life. That is the beauty of aging, figuring that out. I am feeling very settled right now, and that feels divine. On my birthday, that is my wish for you. Together, let’s all blow out the candles. Let me know when your wishes comes true.