We all make mistakes. Everybody. Every day. Big and small. We forget a friend’s birthday. We hit REPLY ALL to an email with our response intended privately for one person. We drop a cup and break it. We forget to pay the water bill. We burn the cookies. We lash out at a loved one.
On and on and on.
We beat ourselves up over our boo boos, our mistakes, our missteps. When you recount the day, what do you hover on? The mess ups? I used to. A million things happen in any given day, and I would focus on what I did wrong.
The events would be long over and yet I would rehash in my mind. The people on the other end of the mistake were fine. The friend was not mad about a late birthday card. No one was upset over an email. A late paid bill, no big deal. A broken cup, a burnt cookie, insignificant. An apology to that loved one was accepted. All was well. I just needed to grasp that.
Learning to let go and learning how to treat myself with compassion has been part of my journey. Implementing new happiness habits is not the tough part. Letting go of our old ingrained habits, thoughts, and behaviors is the real ticket to personal growth.
I’ve come a long way, baby. Being a People Pleasing Perfectionist is not the same as being a joyful person. Putting on a happy face is not the same as being happy. Living every day joy is simply learning to like yourself. With that comes confidence, trust, love, fun. Dare I say it, joy beyond your dreams.
One tool to help you get over the “mess ups” is to start keeping track of your “step ups,” the things you accomplished in the day. This exercise is not the same as writing your three joy droppings in your joy journal every day. That gratitude exercise is hugely important, and this one is too, on another level.
You need to start appreciating you. You do a lot in any given day. Keep track of that. Literally. Write it down. At the end of the day, your brain will be switching to the “I did pretty well” track instead of staying stuck on the “I messed up” track.
Your JOY Assignment: Keep a scribble pad handy. Jot down your “done good” items.
I write the date and “What I did today” with a smiley face. For me, becoming a morning person is a big deal. Something I never thought would happen. I write “Up at 6:15 and had quiet time and watched the sunrise.” I scribble big things and little things: Sent press release. Made lunch for Andrew. (Now that my baby is a senior and my time with him is fleeting, making lunch for him makes me feel good.) Wrote thank you notes. Had a speaking engagement. Bought flowers for my hubby. I had a coaching call with a client. Took my dress to the cleaners. (Those little things that I have been meaning to do feel good when I do them.)
The idea is to write down what you do that feels good. Write down what you do in a day. You do a lot. Feel good about it. When you are feeling good, it is impossible to feel bad. (That’s the key to life. Laminate that statement and carry it in your wallet.)
A happy life is just a string of happy moments. Focusing on the good creates good feelings, happy moments.
What did you do today? Laundry. Made meat loaf. Talked with a potential client.
Home life. Work life. It all is your one life. Revel in it. Relish it.
Stop keeping track of your mess ups. Let them go. Start keeping track of your step ups. You are stepping up and living life with joy and energy. Starting right now.
Good thoughts